Tag Archives: love

Looking for Love: and the lists we shouldn’t create

24 Sep

If you make a list of attributes you are looking for in your “true love”, you will find that you are looking for the female/male version of yourself, and that list is the opposite of what you should be looking for . Take that list, invert it and you will find the person who is right for you. Opposites do attract and you will challenge yourself for the rest of your life.

You get to an age when you start to question your life and it is my hope that this happens when you first start to think.  This can happen at any age but the earlier the better.  I wonder if human’s start to think when they start to speak?  For me I think it happens when we are taught the word why.

I’ve been analyzing why I am single.  I don’t want to be or least I don’t think I want to be.  Inherently no human wants to be alone.  We thrive in groups, we grow in our relationships and interactions with others. I personally was taught in high school that physical human touch makes us happier.  We need each other.  We need our families, our friends and our lovers.

I have a great family, there is no better family in the world and I hope everyone thinks that.  I don’t believe everyone thinks that, but I hope so.  Could my family be better?  It could be different but I wouldn’t want that, I wouldn’t want to change what we have in any way.

I have amazing friends, they are supportive, fun and help me cope with day to day life by sharing it with me.

But I do not have a partner in life.  Maybe I have had that at certain points in my life but I do not have that now and I haven’t had it for a while.  As I get older that person become more elusive and the chances of finding her are slimmer. Very pessimistic thinking, which only leads me farther down the pit of loneliness.  I almost wrote the pit of despair, but then I would be quoting the best love story of all time.

People are asked what they are looking for in a lover, a soul mate, a husband, a fiancée, a wife, a life partner all the time. Answers obviously vary upon the person. They can range from physical traits, to social status, monetary accumulation, astrological signs, ownership of domestic animals, tastes in art, participation in outdoor activities, need for creation of life, intake of fluids, inhalation of smoke, etc.

My list was very specific for my whole life and it continued to grow.  I don’t like to get personal but I will make a list below and it may or may not be mine.  At the end of it, (which I may come back to add things as I remember them or find them) I will sum up what I have realized is all I need.  The basic formula for my own compatibility with a female.

MY RIDICULOUS LIST OF PERFECTION – Blond, Big Tits, not too fat, not too skinny, great smile, great laugh, smart, witty, friendly, loves movies, loves TV, loves books, loves puzzles, loves games, has a great family, has wonderful friends, loves dogs and not cats, enjoys the outdoors but isn’t obsessed, sophisticated but not snooty, not too tall, not too short, around my height, a burning fire in their soul for life and love, enjoys but isn’t obsessed with sports and a general understanding is fine, not too introverted and not too extroverted, loves the water, world traveler or passionately wants to, likes to fly and stay in hotels…I can’t continue making this list because I feel it is embarrassing me.

All I need is someone that doesn’t annoy me, while challenging me and sparking my life.  If you think this statement is profound or what we all should be looking for you are wrong.  I realize this only from writing it.  What it should read, and what I truely believe is…

We should challenge each other, we should light up each other’s souls in every and all ways humanly and unhumanly possible, and all the while not truly annoying each other.

I probably should end with that, but the reason why I wanted to share my thoughts on this subject came to me after having sex.  The moment you know you love someone happens after sex.  If your gut reaction isn’t to get as far away as possible from the person you just slept with, then you might have found someone to love.