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7 Mar

How long can you last without feeling genuine love?  It feeds the soul and sustains a level or normalcy that is needed to survive the day to day shit of life.  Our lives are easy, we deal with work we don’t like, fear the fading of health and aging. Violence surrounds us on a variety of extremes which we discuss and avoid the best we can. Outside of friends and family that you love and would do anything for, who do you love?

I’m emotionally devoid of love and try everyday to suppress the feeling of its necessity. It is out of our control.  We don’t chose who we love but why can’t we find those that will fulfill it. A large percentage of society is either in a relationship or married. Why not me? Why not you? Why aren’t they in love.

I want to feel something.  I want to be moved.  Who is that person that is going to do that? Is it me that needs to change, open up to allow those feelings? Is it that other person that will surprise me with their idiosyncrasies and skewed outlook on life that will effect me?  Am I selfish?

The feeling we had falling in obsessive high school love that first time, why does it diminish and disappear overtime? Broken Hearts? When we fall in love and the person crushes us by leaving, cheating etc spiraling us into longing.  Is that what leaves us empty.

Is it all of us or is it just a few? Is it just me?

I know I’ll give back endlessly, I hope I will. I want to connect with someone on the “soulmate” level.  I want everyone to have this feeling.  It will lead to a fulfilled life we all should share.

Sharing moments in bed close to the one you trust and love are not to be taken for granted.  If even for a short period, enjoy them, appreciate them. Their puriety won’t last forever, and if they do, you are the luckiest couple in the world.

Why do I crave it? As it been to long or do I really need it to help me get through life?

Why is it all to hard? It could be harder.

Where is she?


#Eclipse – One in a Million

21 Dec

the Humbling

A week ago I had no knowledge of the significance of this evening.  Solstice Lunar Ecplise meant nothing to me. Waking up this morning I figured I would spend the evening in front of the tube watching TV.  Though throughout the day I realized the importance of December 21, 2010, a day an astronomical event was visible to the naked eye that hadn’t happened in 456 (tweatbeat), 372 (, 632 (huffingtonpost), 632 (Dr. Tony Phillips),  372 ( 372 (wikipedia) years.

Tonight I look up at the sky, watching the bright diamond shimmering moon light up the sky. As the dark shadow engulfs the moon we crane our necks.  We as a city, state, country, race, world.  We look up at they sky and watch Live via the internet.  As event that hasn’t happened for centuries we look up in awe. At what lies above us, wishing that there is something out there, something beyond what we know.  We believe it, or want to believe.  Praying up at a rock circling our planet for a sign that there is purpose in our lives and reason why we are living on this planet, three rocks from the sun in our galaxy somewhere in the universe.

The shadow consumes the last sliver of silver around the circle in the sky. And it goes dark, but not for too long.  A red glow comes from the bottom of the moon and then pulsates around the globe.  It is amazing.

Watching above I know that it is we that are special, for all we will ever know we are alone on this planet and we don’t realize we are the miracle, we are the special beings touched with the spark to look up and view an amazing galactic event, the alignment of the source of our life, the sun, the earth of the planet under our feet that we survive on and the dead rock that circles us.  Everything is in perfect alignment with us in the middle, we are the center of our universes, only us. And by god we are special and we all don’t know it.

Every once in a while look up into the depths of the sky and let it humble you.

Don’t wait to ask these questions to the ones you love…

1 Oct

1) When did you know when you were in love?

2) Are you happy with your life?

3) Did you raise me the way you wanted to?

4) What was your favorite day?

5) What is your favorite memory?

6) Did you accomplish everything?

7) Did I love you enough?

eight) Do believe in a higher power?

9) Where will you go when you die?

10) Where will I?

11) Did you eat enough?

12) Did you work hard enough?

13) Did you protect those you love?

14) What fights do you wish you won?

15) Which fights do you wish you fought?

16) Who was your first love?

17) What was your worst breakup?

18) What is your favorite memory of me?

19) What shouldn’t I have done in my life?

20) What should I have done in my life?

21) Are you proud of me?

22)  What was your favorite meal?

23) What was your favorite city?

24) Who was your first kiss?

25) Who taught you to drive?

26) Who taught you how to swim?

27) Who gave you the best advice in your life?

28) What was that advice?

29) What advice do you wish you gave me?

30) What advice can you give me now?

31) What was your favorite vacation?

32) Where didn’t you get to go?

33)  Do you believe in government?

34) Where did society go wrong?

35) Where did it go right?

36) Do you believe in intelligent life other than ours?

37) Who shot JFK?

38) Were the Moon landings real?

39) Have you ever seen a UFO?

40) Do you know anyone that has?

41) What was your saddest moment?

42) When did you last cry?

43) Who do you wish you could have comforted?

44) What was your favorite party?

45) What music did you like?

46) What were your favorite movies?

47) What were your favorite books?

48) What book did you read the most times?

49) What movie did you watch the most?

50) Did you ever have one night stands?

51) Did you ever have an STD?

52) Did you want children?

53) Do you wish you told your parents you loved them enough?

54) Have you ever cheated on a test?

55) Have you ever cheated while in a relationship?

56) What was your biggest fear?

57) What truly scared you?

58) What do you wish you learned?

59) What do you wish you did?

Did you ever wait too long to tell someone you loved them?